When you go to a movie and in the intermission you meet an acquaintance whose opening line to you is "Hey what you doing here?” How in the world do you answer that question?.
Of course I am here to take my swimming lessons from the gatekeeper so that I can win gold for India in the Olympics. Watch the movie??? naah .... Wont I go to the swimming pool to watch a movie ..... silly.
When I go to the store to and see the new toothpaste cover.It is the same toothpaste I have been using all my life. It says 'New and Improved'.What the hell!! If it's new, then there has never been anything before it and so what you have been using all your life just wasn’t there And what do they mean by Improved? Was I putting my precious teeth to risk by using something which i wasn't suppose to use in the first place?
People who call on the phone at 4.30 in the morning and ask 'Did I wake you up’. Oh no!!! You didn’t, I am usually up at this hour cutting out my paper dolls.
The phrase "You can’t have your cake and eat it too". Now tell me one thing? Why in the world would I go out and buy or steal or beg for a goddamn cake and NOT be able to eat it?
People who stop besides you as you are soaking wet, drenched to the skin in the rain and say "It’s raining isn’t it “.Rain?? What rain ?? NO it’s NOT raining.. I am this way coz I forgot to
take my clothes off when I took the shower this morning.
People who ask, "Can I ask you a question?" DO you REALLY give me a choice here, what do you want me to say "Buddy you already asked me one "
Another variation to this is someone coming up to you and saying, “Can I ask you a quick question”. The question sure is a quick one, but the bugging thing is that the answer takes about half and hour.
People who point at their wrist while asking for the time. Pal, Thank you very much but I know where my watch is. YOU don’t have to show me. Come-on!!!!! Do I point at my crotch when I ask where the toilet is?
Now folks I am a very calm and collected person, don’t usually get rattled by these trivial things it’s just sometimes that I loose my &#&*# top at these people with their ^@&*&@(@*^@) habits and their &^*&##& AND I GET BUGGED
Thursday, February 26, 2009
Obsession with Slumdog!!
"Oscars are no Olympics", said veteran actor Kamal Hassan. Indian film fraternity in its search of Global recognition has always been in awe of anything related to Oscars. I don't understand why is there so obsession with Oscars. Oscar is just another award and not the only criteria to judge a movie or a performance. Many a times deserving nominees have not been given Oscars. But we Indians are so mesmerised by anything western that we do not leave any stone unturned.
Recently the Slumdog mania hit India harder than the recession. Though there is no question about the geniusness of A.R. Rahman as a Composer but people have been over zealous in their reactions to the event. A lot has been said about in favour and against the movie. Legendary actor Amitabh Bachchan and noted writer Salman Rushdie have slammed the movie.Their point is it shows India in bad light. Here I'm not very convinced with the arguments of these two personalities. Slums are very much part of India as the high rise buildings and duplexes are. But we have overlooked this very important part in awe of our ever growing GDPs and Salaries.
Personally i feel the movie was very well made and the idea was superb, but when i watched other movies that were nominated i found Slumdog nowhere close to the other movies. The Reader for which Kate Winslet won the Best Actress Award was based on an exceptional storyline. The subject was highly mature.Though the plot of Curious Case of Benjamin Button may seem highly unlikely but the quality was better than Slumdog. Another movie which was nominated was about a Gay person being elected to public office.Here let me make myself very clear that I'm not taking anything away from Slumdog. Danny Boyle is one of the most talented directors around and the performances in the movie were also too good.But still it was not close to other nominations.
There has also been much talk about Slumdog being Indian or a foriegn film. I would not get into this debate but I would like to put forward one simple question: Would Slumdog Millionaire have got same response globally, had it been produced and directed by Indians? I guess we all know the answer. As has been the case before many deserving Indian entries have not found place in final nominations.
But yet as Indians we so much undermine ourselves and are so blindly after foreign recognition that we do not trust ourselves. Why is it not that Hollywood people make movies and leave no stone unturned to get them nominated to say Filmfare Awards? Why are we so obsessed with anything that is foreign?
Recently the Slumdog mania hit India harder than the recession. Though there is no question about the geniusness of A.R. Rahman as a Composer but people have been over zealous in their reactions to the event. A lot has been said about in favour and against the movie. Legendary actor Amitabh Bachchan and noted writer Salman Rushdie have slammed the movie.Their point is it shows India in bad light. Here I'm not very convinced with the arguments of these two personalities. Slums are very much part of India as the high rise buildings and duplexes are. But we have overlooked this very important part in awe of our ever growing GDPs and Salaries.
Personally i feel the movie was very well made and the idea was superb, but when i watched other movies that were nominated i found Slumdog nowhere close to the other movies. The Reader for which Kate Winslet won the Best Actress Award was based on an exceptional storyline. The subject was highly mature.Though the plot of Curious Case of Benjamin Button may seem highly unlikely but the quality was better than Slumdog. Another movie which was nominated was about a Gay person being elected to public office.Here let me make myself very clear that I'm not taking anything away from Slumdog. Danny Boyle is one of the most talented directors around and the performances in the movie were also too good.But still it was not close to other nominations.
There has also been much talk about Slumdog being Indian or a foriegn film. I would not get into this debate but I would like to put forward one simple question: Would Slumdog Millionaire have got same response globally, had it been produced and directed by Indians? I guess we all know the answer. As has been the case before many deserving Indian entries have not found place in final nominations.
But yet as Indians we so much undermine ourselves and are so blindly after foreign recognition that we do not trust ourselves. Why is it not that Hollywood people make movies and leave no stone unturned to get them nominated to say Filmfare Awards? Why are we so obsessed with anything that is foreign?
India-A land of festivals
You must have heard that the only culture known to India is agriculture. Similarly, the cliché – India lives in villages and villages are known for farming i.e. agriculture. There are two main crops in India, Rabi and Kharif, come urbanization with growing greed and the most important of them all, crop of Relief enters the scene. The crop of Relief has come to stay with us. India is such a large country always there is flood, famine or earthquake in one part or the other. Relief is a high yielding crop. So remember if you are a relief crop farmer you are here to survive (vagaries of nature) and thrive (because of same vagaries). Let growers of other crops kill themselves. Yours is the cash crop in true sense of word.
India, actually is a country dominated by festivals. India is a land where no less than 330 million deities reside. To venerate 330 million deities we need sufficient number of devotees. After all what is a deity without a devotee. Both owe their existence to each other. We are basically a religious lot (see Indus valley and Harappa finds ) As soon as we realized that deities need sufficient number of devotees, we took it upon ourselves as our fundamental duty to procreate. Hitherto, world champion in the field of population i.e. China also faced difficulty in keeping pace with us and retain its coveted supremacy. Very soon we will push China from its number one position and we will be hero number one. It is said when you want someone to bite the dust you give him long rope. We are conscious, for the present our immediate and paramount duty is to humble China in the field of population. This is our core-competence area. Once we have children more than Chinese dragon, superceding China in remaining of fields will be child’s play.
India has abundance of festivals. Each day is some festival or other. Deities are not short of devotees and vice-versa. With internet and electronics media, devotees have helped deities strengthen their halo.
Take for example Holi, a fascinating festival indeed. Hooch on Holi is the in thing. You may go in for grease paint and literally paint the town red…that is Holi. You can be Bond…James Bond and go for the ‘kill’ that is paint the faces of all Bhabhijis of your ‘society’. That is what I call ‘ licence to kill’. Water filled balloons fly everywhere. Medicos particularly skin and eye-specialists make hay while the sun of Holi shines, thanks to adulterated ,cheap color, paint you use. People embrace each other on Holi, bigger the benefactor or promoter of nuisance value, longer is the duration of the bear hug. Children celebrate Holi with childlike gaiety while adult celebrate Holi with childish prank. Media blares hourly report that entire nation is celebrating Holi. The leaders i.e. political, (remaining varieties are extinct in India) do not play Holi publicly…simple due to security reasons. Evenings are reserved for visiting boss’s house so that even if boss overlooked you during the hullaboo of day he should not miss you in the evening and should mentally mark you ‘P’ in his BOF (Book Of Favorites ) P for presence...no...no...P for polish. You see Holi falls in the month of March...a crucial month when a bureaucrat’s Annual Confidential Report is filled.
About Diwali lesser said better it is. It is our All India Pollution Day. Lest you raise bogey of pollution, it is publicized by Diwali die-hard fans that the smoke and poisonous fumes emanating from crackers kill the mosquitoes and other pests. Crackers are manufactured in Sivakashi, Tamilnadu by child labors who live in sub-human conditions. Scores of these children get killed every Diwali due to fire caused by negligence. In India, thanks to terrorists, one doesn’t have to wait till Diwali to witness bomb explosions. Compared to power-packed RDX of terrorists, Diwali bombs appear childish and sound as incoherent as independent candidates in Assembly elections.
Diwali is our national GBM. General Body Meeting…no...Gambling Bribing...Merrymaking. It is an official festival of openly gambling, bribing and getting bribed. People gamble and drink with total ‘openness’, our version of glasnost and perestroika .Diwali has special significance for traders. Every Diwali they punctually spin the web of ‘SALE’. Customers too are naïve enough to walk into their trap Diwali after Diwali. They make a beeline for shops displaying ‘SALE ‘ signboards. More often than not these sales are just gimmicks and another way of marketing unmarketable goods. Strangely, I find both buyers and sellers to be happy and gay. Shopkeepers succeed in clearance of their outdated, inferior goods saving on inventory cost while customers are happy buying things they don’t actually need. Fire brigade do overtime during Diwali as fire break outs are very common.
Eid is of two kinds, sweet one and non-vegetarian. A snap is fondly displayed by every newspaper Eid after Eid. A Hindu boy and a Muslim boy hugging each other like long lost brothers, facing camera and smiling ear to ear. People wear new clothes. Television channels air period films with strong Urdu bias like Bahu Begum, Taj Mahal. Any foreigner watching Bollywood film is bound to carry entirely wrong impression such as --India is a happy-go-lucky country. Average Indian is busy either romancing or singing love songs. Falling in love, singing, dancing is customary in every household. An Indian is well versed in dancing, knows how to play almost any musical instrument and sings at the slightest provocation. Little do they know that in Bollywood even ‘Bhagwan’ is forgotten and left to die unnoticed, unsung in abject poverty.
Last but not the least is Christmas. We observe Christmas with greater fervor, fever and festivity than in Vatican City. We are ‘game’ for any festival which promises and encourages little bonhomie. We are true seculars when it comes to eating, drinking and merrymaking. Starting from Christmas...new year the chain of sending greeting cards continues throughout the year. Thanks to globalization we have greeting cards for about every occasion under the sun. The drinking, merrymaking which sets in with X-mas/new year goes on throughout the year. One has to burn in second half whatever one has earned in first half of the year. All the market forces persuade you to do so. After that you are left with little option but to fall in the trap of ever eager Banks to home-deliver loans and later claim their share of flesh.
We have been celebrating these festivals since time immemorial. Every year millions of Ravanas (symbol of evil ) are burnt but their birth rate is several times higher than their death rate, hence, their number is swelling like never before. If Diwali, Eid, Xmas, Holi all are harbinger of compassion and harmony between man and man then why there is so much mistrust and hatred between man and man?
India, actually is a country dominated by festivals. India is a land where no less than 330 million deities reside. To venerate 330 million deities we need sufficient number of devotees. After all what is a deity without a devotee. Both owe their existence to each other. We are basically a religious lot (see Indus valley and Harappa finds ) As soon as we realized that deities need sufficient number of devotees, we took it upon ourselves as our fundamental duty to procreate. Hitherto, world champion in the field of population i.e. China also faced difficulty in keeping pace with us and retain its coveted supremacy. Very soon we will push China from its number one position and we will be hero number one. It is said when you want someone to bite the dust you give him long rope. We are conscious, for the present our immediate and paramount duty is to humble China in the field of population. This is our core-competence area. Once we have children more than Chinese dragon, superceding China in remaining of fields will be child’s play.
India has abundance of festivals. Each day is some festival or other. Deities are not short of devotees and vice-versa. With internet and electronics media, devotees have helped deities strengthen their halo.
Take for example Holi, a fascinating festival indeed. Hooch on Holi is the in thing. You may go in for grease paint and literally paint the town red…that is Holi. You can be Bond…James Bond and go for the ‘kill’ that is paint the faces of all Bhabhijis of your ‘society’. That is what I call ‘ licence to kill’. Water filled balloons fly everywhere. Medicos particularly skin and eye-specialists make hay while the sun of Holi shines, thanks to adulterated ,cheap color, paint you use. People embrace each other on Holi, bigger the benefactor or promoter of nuisance value, longer is the duration of the bear hug. Children celebrate Holi with childlike gaiety while adult celebrate Holi with childish prank. Media blares hourly report that entire nation is celebrating Holi. The leaders i.e. political, (remaining varieties are extinct in India) do not play Holi publicly…simple due to security reasons. Evenings are reserved for visiting boss’s house so that even if boss overlooked you during the hullaboo of day he should not miss you in the evening and should mentally mark you ‘P’ in his BOF (Book Of Favorites ) P for presence...no...no...P for polish. You see Holi falls in the month of March...a crucial month when a bureaucrat’s Annual Confidential Report is filled.
About Diwali lesser said better it is. It is our All India Pollution Day. Lest you raise bogey of pollution, it is publicized by Diwali die-hard fans that the smoke and poisonous fumes emanating from crackers kill the mosquitoes and other pests. Crackers are manufactured in Sivakashi, Tamilnadu by child labors who live in sub-human conditions. Scores of these children get killed every Diwali due to fire caused by negligence. In India, thanks to terrorists, one doesn’t have to wait till Diwali to witness bomb explosions. Compared to power-packed RDX of terrorists, Diwali bombs appear childish and sound as incoherent as independent candidates in Assembly elections.
Diwali is our national GBM. General Body Meeting…no...Gambling Bribing...Merrymaking. It is an official festival of openly gambling, bribing and getting bribed. People gamble and drink with total ‘openness’, our version of glasnost and perestroika .Diwali has special significance for traders. Every Diwali they punctually spin the web of ‘SALE’. Customers too are naïve enough to walk into their trap Diwali after Diwali. They make a beeline for shops displaying ‘SALE ‘ signboards. More often than not these sales are just gimmicks and another way of marketing unmarketable goods. Strangely, I find both buyers and sellers to be happy and gay. Shopkeepers succeed in clearance of their outdated, inferior goods saving on inventory cost while customers are happy buying things they don’t actually need. Fire brigade do overtime during Diwali as fire break outs are very common.
Eid is of two kinds, sweet one and non-vegetarian. A snap is fondly displayed by every newspaper Eid after Eid. A Hindu boy and a Muslim boy hugging each other like long lost brothers, facing camera and smiling ear to ear. People wear new clothes. Television channels air period films with strong Urdu bias like Bahu Begum, Taj Mahal. Any foreigner watching Bollywood film is bound to carry entirely wrong impression such as --India is a happy-go-lucky country. Average Indian is busy either romancing or singing love songs. Falling in love, singing, dancing is customary in every household. An Indian is well versed in dancing, knows how to play almost any musical instrument and sings at the slightest provocation. Little do they know that in Bollywood even ‘Bhagwan’ is forgotten and left to die unnoticed, unsung in abject poverty.
Last but not the least is Christmas. We observe Christmas with greater fervor, fever and festivity than in Vatican City. We are ‘game’ for any festival which promises and encourages little bonhomie. We are true seculars when it comes to eating, drinking and merrymaking. Starting from Christmas...new year the chain of sending greeting cards continues throughout the year. Thanks to globalization we have greeting cards for about every occasion under the sun. The drinking, merrymaking which sets in with X-mas/new year goes on throughout the year. One has to burn in second half whatever one has earned in first half of the year. All the market forces persuade you to do so. After that you are left with little option but to fall in the trap of ever eager Banks to home-deliver loans and later claim their share of flesh.
We have been celebrating these festivals since time immemorial. Every year millions of Ravanas (symbol of evil ) are burnt but their birth rate is several times higher than their death rate, hence, their number is swelling like never before. If Diwali, Eid, Xmas, Holi all are harbinger of compassion and harmony between man and man then why there is so much mistrust and hatred between man and man?
From the Author
Hi to one and all..!!
So finally the bug of blogging has beaten me. To be very frank to you all, I'm not a gifted writer. I just try to write as a hobby. Very recently one of friends suggested me to write something about myself and my life. She says people are tired of reading extraordinary stuff and they would like to read some normal stuff. So here i will try to write a semi-autobiographical blog.(though i'm not sure whether my life has been normal enough :P) As far as my introduction is concerned, I'm Vivs doing my B. Tech (underskilled and overpriced) from IIT (one of the most sought after colleges in India and believe me sitting here i wonder why are they so obsessed). I'm a normal guy from a middle class family and from a very moderate but famous town. And more you will come to know through my posts.
P.S. Some of the incidents used in the blog will not be fictional. Any resemblance to any person living or dead is purely intentional. So please have fun. :)
So finally the bug of blogging has beaten me. To be very frank to you all, I'm not a gifted writer. I just try to write as a hobby. Very recently one of friends suggested me to write something about myself and my life. She says people are tired of reading extraordinary stuff and they would like to read some normal stuff. So here i will try to write a semi-autobiographical blog.(though i'm not sure whether my life has been normal enough :P) As far as my introduction is concerned, I'm Vivs doing my B. Tech (underskilled and overpriced) from IIT (one of the most sought after colleges in India and believe me sitting here i wonder why are they so obsessed). I'm a normal guy from a middle class family and from a very moderate but famous town. And more you will come to know through my posts.
P.S. Some of the incidents used in the blog will not be fictional. Any resemblance to any person living or dead is purely intentional. So please have fun. :)
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