Things That Bug Me

When you go to a movie and in the intermission you meet an acquaintance whose opening line to you is "Hey what you doing here?” How in the world do you answer that question?.

Of course I am here to take my swimming lessons from the gatekeeper so that I can win gold for India in the Olympics. Watch the movie??? naah .... Wont I go to the swimming pool to watch a movie ..... silly.

When I go to the store to and see the new toothpaste cover.It is the same toothpaste I have been using all my life. It says 'New and Improved'.What the hell!! If it's new, then there has never been anything before it and so what you have been using all your life just wasn’t there And what do they mean by Improved? Was I putting my precious teeth to risk by using something which i wasn't suppose to use in the first place?

People who call on the phone at 4.30 in the morning and ask 'Did I wake you up’. Oh no!!! You didn’t, I am usually up at this hour cutting out my paper dolls.

The phrase "You can’t have your cake and eat it too". Now tell me one thing? Why in the world would I go out and buy or steal or beg for a goddamn cake and NOT be able to eat it?

People who stop besides you as you are soaking wet, drenched to the skin in the rain and say "It’s raining isn’t it “.Rain?? What rain ?? NO it’s NOT raining.. I am this way coz I forgot to
take my clothes off when I took the shower this morning.

People who ask, "Can I ask you a question?" DO you REALLY give me a choice here, what do you want me to say "Buddy you already asked me one "

Another variation to this is someone coming up to you and saying, “Can I ask you a quick question”. The question sure is a quick one, but the bugging thing is that the answer takes about half and hour.

People who point at their wrist while asking for the time. Pal, Thank you very much but I know where my watch is. YOU don’t have to show me. Come-on!!!!! Do I point at my crotch when I ask where the toilet is?

Now folks I am a very calm and collected person, don’t usually get rattled by these trivial things it’s just sometimes that I loose my &#&*# top at these people with their ^@&*&@(@*^@) habits and their &^*&##& AND I GET BUGGED